So, I haven't posted in, literally, forever.

What to say?  Work is going well, I've passed my CPRP exam, and am now going to start studying for the GRE.  I'm thinking an MPA from UNF might look nice on my wall/resume.

How are ya'll?  I'm tired.  I think I'll go home now, and sleep.  (yum)

ty

MADRID, Spain (AP) - Sounding more defiant than the day before, eyes flashing and voice steady, Floyd Landis looked into the cameras Friday and said he would prove he "deserved to win" the Tour de France.

In his first public appearance since a positive test for high testosterone cast his title into doubt, the American cyclist said his body's natural metabolism - not doping of any kind - caused the result, and that he would soon have the test results to prove it.

"We will explain to the world why this is not a doping case but a natural occurrence," Landis said from the Spanish capital.

The day before, in a teleconference from a location in Europe he did not disclose, Landis said he didn't cheat but had no idea what might have caused his positive test on the Tour's 17th stage, where he staked his stirring comeback in the Alps.

During that Thursday call, Landis sounded downcast and heartbroken, saying he expected to clear his name but never his reputation. His demeanour was decidedly more fiery Friday, when he sat before a buzzing news conference and lashed out at the media for characterizing his plight as a drug scandal.

"I would like to make absolutely clear that I am not in any doping process," said Landis, wearing a baseball cap turned backward and a white shirt with the name of his Phonak team. "I ask not to be judged by anyone, much less sentenced by anyone."

Landis is still awaiting results from a backup sample, which would clear him immediately if found to be negative. But his lawyer, Luis Sanz, said he fully expected the backup test to come back with the same result, since the elevated testosterone was produced naturally by Landis's body.

And the 30-year-old cyclist said Friday that he would undergo additional testing to prove that "the levels that I've had during the Tour and all my career are natural and produced by my own organism."

Until those tests are conducted, Landis said, "I ask not to be judged, or much less to be sentenced by anyone."

But Landis saved his most aggressive tone for the defence of his title as Tour de France champion.

"I was the strongest guy. I deserved to win, and I'm proud of it."

Landis appeared to lose any chance of victory during a disastrous 16th stage of the Tour, then broke out with one of the greatest performances in history the next day. After winning the 17th stage, he submitted to a drug test - standard for a stage winner - that showed an "unusual level of testosterone/epitestosterone."

Phonak suspended Landis after the International Cycling Union notified it Wednesday of the result, and he could stripped of his title and fired from the team if he does not clear his name.

Landis, a native of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, said he was shocked when told of the initial positive result. He said he had been tested six other times during the tour, and many other times during the year. 

A homecoming parade planned for Landis next week in Ephrata, Pa., has been put on hold pending more test results, organizer Rich Ruoff said Friday. As many as 10,000 people and 500 cyclists were expected at the event.

The news of Landis' test has rocked the cycling world, already under a cloud following a wide-ranging doping investigation in Spain that led to the barring of several of the world's leading cyclists from the Tour.

On the eve of the Tour's start, nine riders - including pre-race favourites Jan Ullrich and Ivan Basso - were ousted, implicated in a Spanish doping investigation. Their names turned up on a list of 56 cyclists who allegedly had contact with a Spanish doctor at the centre of the probe. Landis was not implicated in that investigation.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your journal and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.

After having read what I wrote I realize it's a undirected rant.  Just my thought process, and it's my journal, dammit.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Figured I'd take a bit of what Natalia wrote recently (and a discussion that followed. . .) 

Have you noticed that now that you have a steady income, your sleep has decreased?

Have I?  Have I ever, to the point that I wake up in the middle of the night with ideas for programs, stressing about programs that are already in progress or coming up, or stressed out so much so that I can't fall asleep.  I'm not saying I dislike my job, in fact I love my job and you'd be hard pressed to find a job that was more rewarding emotionally. . . some days.  Some days there isn't anything you can do to make anyone happy.  One of the stresses, I guess, of being in charge of a facility that offers ways to spend leisure time.

I know that it all goes back to the recreation vs. challenge arguement that my professor taught us, but I'd like to argue, that while I do not give my full attention to the Sr. Center, that I could not fulfill everyone's demand for a balance of recreation that challenges each of the 30+ senior citizens that hang around here each day.  Doesn't stop me from trying, though.  I have various parties, we're starting tourneys, there will be a talent show, a dancing with the stars event, a iron chef event, etc. etc.

But, and here's the real problem that I have alluded to, I have given up valuable hours of sleep to offer this.  I am constantly thinking of new and innovative ways to entertain what amounts to Middle Schoolers that don't have parents to smack them around when they talk back.  Fourtunatly I've been given the opportunity to go back to what I did before, and that's offering Nature Programs for children and adults.  Now if I could just convince a co-worker or two to go with me.

I read a pretty good quote today. . . . I'd say this applies until you're about 30, have established your career, independence and mortgage:

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left. - Marilyn Monroe

Okay, slightly cynical.  Ok, alot cynical.  :shrug:

Date:	2006-06-30 16:30
Subject:	Hurricane Season Update
Security:	Public
Mood:	exhausted
Music:	None

With hurricane season here, this message is of the utmost importance!

To: Former Floridians, Current Floridians, Future Floridians, and/or Those Who Know a Floridian.

We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Gulf of Mexico or the Atlantic Ocean and making two basic meteorological points:
(1) There is no need to panic.
(2) We could all die.

Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida!! If you're new to the area you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one." Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:
STEP 1: Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least 3 days.
STEP 2: Put these supplies into your car.
STEP 3: Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Thanksgiving.

Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Florida.

So, we'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:

HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements:
(1) It is reasonably well-built, and
(2) It is located in Nebraska.

Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place.

So, you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss.

Since Hurricane Andrew, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies. This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.

SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane -- all the toilets. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages.

Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off.
Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.

Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.

"Hurricane-proof'' windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska.

”Hurricane Proofing” Your Property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc. You should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.

EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Florida" you live in a low-lying area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM.
In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:
-23 flashlights.
-At least $167 worth of batteries – that turn out, when the power goes out, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.
-Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for. But it's traditional, so GET some!)
-A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant.
-A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)
-A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Andrew; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.)
-$35,000 (or so) in cash or diamonds, so that, after the hurricane passes you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.
Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers standing right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.

Good luck and remember: it's great living in paradise! Those of you who aren't here yet you should come. Really!

Stories that can be told at Church

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"  "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."  The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class.  As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!  Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"  While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell -- getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.  She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again.  As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late . . . But please don't shove me either!"

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.  The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper -- he calls it a poem; they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing.  My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper -- he calls it a song; they give him $100."  The third boy says, "I got you both beat.  My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper -- he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

An elderly woman died last month.  Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers.  In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive -- I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.”

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.  A small child replied:  "They couldn't get a baby sitter."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and six-year-olds.  After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.  Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.  Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"  Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side.  I think I'm going to have a wife.”

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.  One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out.  It's probably just your Dad."

Date:	2006-06-17 09:10
Subject:	Les Theatre des de Vampires-Vampire pretending like they're Humans,pretending like they're Vampires.
Security:	Public
Mood:	sleepy

You scored as Armand. Your the mysterious type only those close to you know the truth about who you really are </td> Marius 100% Armand 100% Louis 75% Angel 75% Dracula 75% Lestat 67% Spike 58% Deacon Frost 33% Blade 33% Akasha 8% Whose your Vampire personality? (images) created with QuizFarm.com

To do list (By next Friday the 21st of May):
Re-dye my hair. (Red.) Did that, but need to touch up roots now.
Pierce Belly-Button. (Monday.) Okay, was going to do this, chickened out.
Get hair cut. Did this, need another soon.
Buy bathing suit for season. (Possibly two, but mom is paying for the first one.) I not only have a suit, but matching cover-up, flip-flops, and bag.  I'm so styling.
Buy Stamps.
Post Janeen and Karen's gifts, along with various letters that have been sitting. Half done. Ordered Janeen's gift today.
Make compilation CD for Natalia. Sorry, will do this, promise.
Upload rest of CDs to MP3 player. Happens with the CD.
Also need new flip flops, sneakers and dress shoes, a coverup for bathing suit, surf board.
Sew awesome new purse that I bought strap.
Finish Easter Baskets.
Make appt for eye doctor.

To Do List (By End of August):
Find a new place. Moving in a month or so.
Keep exercising (awesome abs?) I'm being so good, swimming and walking, and eatting less, I fit in stuff from the juniors sections now!!
Get outfits for conference socials (pirate/wench ball and blues brothers party) Actively working on this.
Keep saving (in 4 weeks I've saved 600+) Okay, I still only have $600.
See doctor(April 24)
Get back on birth control.  I need to make this a new priority, by the end of this month.
See Dentist. (May 25)


Okay, New list:

By the 23rd:

Post Janeen and Karen's gifts.
Make compilation CD for Natalia. 
Upload rest of CDs to MP3 player.
Sew awesome new purse that I bought strap.
Make appt for eye doctor.
Make appt. for Gyno (Birth Control.)

By end of August:

Get outfits for conference socials (pirate/wench ball and blues brothers party) 
Keep saving (in 4 weeks I've saved 600+)

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when  offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." In extreme cases, the  female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.

For a video to see how beer works click here:

http://www.brackenspub.com/beer.swf

Am I the only person who finds their siblings insufferable?  I swear, my sister will blame anything on me.  Tonight it's that I make her break up with every boyfriend she's ever had.  Please!!  I may point out why they aren't good enough for her, but I've never actually interfered.I'm sorry she takes everything I say SO to heart, but I do not dictate her life.  Far from it.  I've so had it.

I had a good day, other than that.  I slept in for the first time in months.  I woke up around 7, but went back to bed around 9 and slept til 1.  It was so great.  I haven't done it in forever, and think I'll do it again tomorrow.  Yeah, y'all might be excited about your social lives, but I'm excited about sleeping.  Enjoy school and part-time jobs while you can.

xoxo,
tess

Everyone should go out to their car, get in and start it (don't forget your wallet, and go to the nearest CD selling place and buy the Wicked Soundtrack.  Because I love it, and it's awesome.

Especially Popular, the loathing Song, I'm not Her and the second to last song that's about changing because someone's in your life.

Okay, enjoy.

Love yas!

So, I'm working on paying off my student loan, and the other day I received a letter from them asking me to stop paying until August, apparently I'm paying them off too fast.  Is that not ridiculous?

reminder to self: unless it's men, you are not a keeper of fuzzy animals. dogs and cats are good for other people, not you.

I have pretty eyes and pretty lips.  Just thought I'd share the compliments.

Date:	2006-05-16 10:10
Subject:	Musical Fascinations. . .
Security:	Public
Mood:	good
Music:	Uh, isn't it obvious?

So, I started taking phentermine.  Dr.'s perscription, of course, and I have a checkup on the 6th of June to 
1)make sure I'm not abusing it or myself, and
2)make sure my body is taking it well.

I was exercising before I started this, and can't get past a certain weight. I know, a lot of people are against the pills to help you lose weight, but let me explain first. . . I am being responsible, eating well rounded meals and eating at least three times a day.  I'm also exercising on a regular basis, and continuing to stay active.   So I asked my doctor if there was something that would help.  I've tried weight watchers, but after so many meetings it's redundant and boring, and I was shelling out close to $50 a month to listen to the same thing over and over again.  With the amount of money they were pulling in I have tons of ideas that they could present to make people feel better about themselves, instead of being down on themselves.

I've lost 10 lbs in two weeks.  I'm insanely active these days, often running from 7 in the morning until 8-9 at night, only to come home, help with dinner, eat, do the dishes, watch a couple of my favorite shows and fall into bed.  (Yes, college students, this is what you have to look forward to.)  Granted, I've been drinking cherry coke like a fiend, but it's been a lot more hectic since we lost Zach (read earlier post.)

Anyhow, thought I'd kinda track my progress here.
t

Date:	2006-05-12 12:10
Subject:	Sylvia Plath. . .
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah
Music:	Shakira

Mad Girl's Love Song

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)" 

Fever 103

Pure? What does it mean?
The tongues of hell
Are dull, dull as the triple

Tongues of dull, fat Cerebus
Who wheezes at the gate. Incapable
Of licking clean

The aguey tendon, the sin, the sin.
The tinder cries.
The indelible smell

Of a snuffed candle!
Love, love, the low smokes roll
From me like Isadora's scarves, I'm in a fright

One scarf will catch and anchor in the wheel.
Such yellow sullen smokes
Make their own element. They will not rise,

But trundle round the globe
Choking the aged and the meek,
The weak

Hothouse baby in its crib,
The ghastly orchid
Hanging its hanging garden in the air,

Devilish leopard!
Radiation turned it white
And killed it in an hour.

Greasing the bodies of adulterers
Like Hiroshima ash and eating in.
The sin. The sin.

Darling, all night
I have been flickering, off, on, off, on.
The sheets grow heavy as a lecher's kiss.

Three days. Three nights.
Lemon water, chicken
Water, water make me retch.

I am too pure for you or anyone.
Your body
Hurts me as the world hurts God. I am a lantern ----

My head a moon
Of Japanese paper, my gold beaten skin
Infinitely delicate and infinitely expensive.

Does not my heat astound you. And my light.
All by myself I am a huge camellia
Glowing and coming and going, flush on flush.

I think I am going up,
I think I may rise ----
The beads of hot metal fly, and I, love, I

Am a pure acetylene
Virgin
Attended by roses,

By kisses, by cherubim,
By whatever these pink things mean.
Not you, nor him.

Not him, nor him
(My selves dissolving, old whore petticoats) ----
To Paradise.

Date:	2006-04-12 16:03
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	exhausted
Music:	The printer.

I'm bored.

Waiting for the traffic school timer to get to 50 mins, so I can take the first quiz and move on. Did you know you could take traffic school online? 4 hours of torture.

To do list (By next Friday the 21st):
Re-dye my hair. (Red.)
Pierce Belly-Button. (Monday.)
Get hair cut.
Buy bathing suit for season. (Possibly two, but mom is paying for the first one.)
Buy Stamps.
Post Janeen and Karen's gifts, along with various letters that have been sitting.
Make compilation CD for Natalia.
Upload rest of CDs to MP3 player.
Also need new flip flops, sneakers and dress shoes, a coverup for bathing suit, surf board.
Sew awesome new purse that I bought strap.
Finish Easter Baskets.
Make appt for eye doctor.

To Do List (By End of August):
Find a new place.
Keep exercising (awesome abs?)
Get outfits for conference socials (pirate/wench ball and blues brothers party)
Keep saving (in 4 weeks I've saved 600+)
Get back on birth control. (April 24)
See Dentist. (May 25)


Okay, this should be updated soon, if you have anything to add, let me know.
t